Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (Col. 3:18–19)
Expanded Passage: Ephesians 5:21–24; Colossians 3:18–19
Our early years of marriage were a mixture of both excitement and struggle as we learned to live with one another and establish a home together. If you are married, perhaps your experience was similar. Marriage is wonderful, but can also be difficult and confusing at times. In today’s Scripture, Paul gave instructions to married couples, redefining what it means to be a husband and a wife in a Christian marriage.
First, Paul instructed wives to “submit” themselves to their husbands “as is fitting in the Lord.” Ben Witherington explains this instruction as a call for wives to voluntarily submit to their husbands. It is not a command for a wife to become subordinate to the husband. The verb submit used here is the same word used for Christ’s relationship to his Father, and of all believers to one other in Ephesians 5:21.
Equally, husbands are called to love their wives by cherishing and not domineering them. The word for love here is agapaō. This Greek word for love was not used in the wider culture to describe love in marriage, but was used to describe the love God has for people. For both husbands and wives, Paul defied cultural norms, calling both spouses to love one another with a different kind of love—God’s kind of love.
God, please help me to love and support my spouse today.
Marriage requires a different kind of love for one another.
Branden Petersen is the cofounder/pastor of Resurrection Life NYC in Manhattan with his wife, Jenn. He is also the founder and director of the urban church planting network, Global Cities Network.
