Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. (Col. 3:20–21)
Expanded Passage: Ephesians 6:1–4; Colossians 3:20–21
“But why?” asks almost every child who has lived. “Because I said so,” replies the exhausted parent. This conversation has been repeated millions of times, in thousands of places, and in hundreds of languages throughout history. In Ephesians 6, Paul reached back thousands of years, when he instructed children, “Honor your father and mother . . . so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2–3). The instruction here is clear: Children, obey your parents if you desire a good life. The loving and wise parent knows what is best for their children.
Paul then issued a parallel instruction to parents: “Do not embitter your children.” It seems the Christian parental system relies on both obedient children and wise, patient, and loving parents. Parents are instructed here to be careful not to provoke anger or resentment in their children. This admonition requires parenting without unnecessarily embittering children through excessively harsh punishment, unreasonable demands, abuse of authority, unfairness, nagging, and humiliation.
I have been on both sides of the opening conversation: a once-disobedient child and an impatient, sometimes-harsh father. Here is a prayer for both parents and children:
God, please help me to parent with encouragement and wisdom, help me to honor my own parents, and please forgive me for getting it wrong in the past.
Remember that honoring God requires honoring your parents.
Branden Petersen is the cofounder/pastor of Resurrection Life NYC in Manhattan with his wife, Jenn. He is also the founder and director of the urban church planting network, Global Cities Network.
