I am a Global Partners missionary in Haiti. I struggle, sometimes daily, with what role I have in God’s global plan and wonder if I am making a difference. Living around and being friends with many missionaries, I am surrounded with stories. Wow, the stories. Such power, passion and God-breathed stories. Most of the stories you cannot help but get goosebumps and tear up at what God has done.
Here is a little secret: most missionaries, pastors and those in ministry feel utterly inadequate. Even Paul exclaims in 2 Corinthians, “Who is sufficient?” I am learning in the midst of my own struggle that I am inadequate, but God is more than adequate.
I know—we all know that God is adequate, sufficient, perfect. The epiphany came when I was able to say I am completely and totally inadequate and am OK with that. This conclusion came when I was recently working in northern Haiti.
Pastor Riguard lives and works in Trou Du Nord, Haiti, at a Wesleyan church. He stands in front of his church of over 600 Haitians each Sunday with a passion for Christ unmatched by any Haitian I’ve ever heard before. Riguard told me a story that has stuck with me. Years ago, he stood in front of his church and shared a God-given dream he had to build a Wesleyan school on the church property. He shared about the number of kids who didn’t attend school in the area and explained that those who did attend school traveled a great distance to get their education.
The church heard him but didn’t listen to him. It went about its business for years. Many church members voiced their opinions that a school would never be built. Their comments included:
“We won’t get a school.”
“We can’t get the money for that.”
“The school isn’t built yet, Pastor.”
But Riguard remained faithful and eventually learned that that was all he needed.
In recent months, I spent time with the Indiana South District of The Wesleyan Church discussing how to partner with The Wesleyan Church of Trou Du Nord, Haiti. When we began the process of building the initial installment of the first 104’ structure for a school, I didn’t know of Pastor Riguard’s dream that he had carried and shared for the past several years. I was confused when I kept hearing his church members say:
“Pastor, God made our school!”
“Pastor, God answers prayer!”
“God heard you, Pastor!”
“Praise the Lord for this school!”
I asked Pastor Riguard about the dozens of statements I heard like these and he told me about his dream of the school from years ago—the dream that many in the church doubted would happen. His response rocked me: “The church knew I could not build this school and that I didn’t have the money for it. Now they know they were right. God did this.”
Such a simple and powerful lesson. Being inadequate is liberating. I work for God. He is enough. Pastor Riguard is not enough, I am not enough, Indiana South District is not enough. But God is.
