“Honor your father and your mother . . . so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land.” (Deut. 5:16)
Expanded Passage: Deuteronomy 5:16
When I was a youth pastor, I noticed that not all my students had good parents. On a camping retreat one young man struggled to understand how he could honor his father when his father ridiculed and physically abused him. I remember trying to help him understand that he was required to give his father his honored role, without accepting the abuse he was receiving.
The Hebrew word for “honor” describes the “heaviness” or “burden” a child must offer to their parent. Good or bad, our parents are to be treated with all seriousness. Because of their age and their position in life, we are obligated to listen but not blindly obey or even love them. Hopefully by the time the child becomes an aged parent they will know the need for forgiveness for the mistakes made. For now, it does all youth good to listen seriously to their parents, and to consider the advice of their elders.
The commandments to observe the Sabbath and to honor our parents, are the only ones that are written as positive commands. It may be that these two are connected in other ways, being at the heart of the list. Both by observing Sabbath and honoring aging parents we learn how to relate to those unproductive parts of our lives, when we end the days of labor and the days of raising families.
Acknowledge your parents’ impact on your life, for good and bad.
Rich Eckley is professor emeritus of theology at Houghton University (NY). He is an ordained Wesleyan minister, and enjoys—with his wife Lynn—entertaining their active grandchildren.
© 2025 Wesleyan Publishing House. Reprinted from Light from the Word. Used by permission. Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®.
